Jul 31, 2009

BRETT FAVRE: HOW TO SPEND RETIREMENT

This past Tuesday it was reported by several respectable sports news outlets that Brett Favre decided to stay retired instead of join the Minnesota Vikings for a 19th NFL season. While the news came as a shock to said sports news outlets, LEEInks would like to congratulate Favre on making a decision and suggest some ways to fill his newly acquired free time.

Since Favre will be spending more time at the Hattiesburg compound, he can work on maintaining his lawn. His various Snapper mowers probably haven’t gotten much use in the past 18 years during training camp time in August. According to the Snapper lawn mower website, Favre enjoys cutting his own lawn, and if his commercials are any indication it’s one of the few times can talk football and not be harassed. But, if the lawn is not enough, LEEInks has some other suggestions.

It’s obvious that Favre just likes to hang out. The beauty of retirement is he now has all the time he wants to do just that without the stress of having to dodge linebackers. His days will be just like his Prilosec OTC commercial … except without the heartburn and it’ll last longer than nine days.

It was reported on Wednesday that Favre is still throwing the football and even though he is retired. This works well with the retirement plan because it will give him more time to chill with the guys while tossing the pigskin. LEEInks wants to know if it gets any better than a game of touch with the fellas in a pair of comfortable jeans. Clearly it does not.

Or, if the heartburn kicks in and Favre wants to get away and contemplate nature, he can wonder the Hattiesburg wilderness with his dog, otherwise known as Remington Country.

Were that not enough to do during retirement Favre could resurrect his acting career. Everyone saw There’s Something about Mary , he was phenomenal. LEEInks sees a bright future for Favre in the comedy genre. The next movie involving Favre, Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller, Steve Carell, Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen is guaranteed to be box office gold.

At 39 years of age, Favre is still a young guy. He has plenty of time to decide how he wants to spend his retirement. LEEInks would again like to congratulate Favre, it takes skill to tick off all of sports media, and leave a bunch of reporters with egg on their face.

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