[Get caught up: pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3, and pt. 4]
The pills aren't working. I'm still seeing things that I don't want to see. The doctor gave me some medicine to help calm me. I'm not sure what it is exactly, Haldol, I think. I wasn't paying close attention when he was talking about it. All I know is that I take two a day, one around lunch and one before I go to bed. It sucks because the pills aren't working. Last night I had a strange dream. It started with me waking up in the middle of the night because I wasn't along in my bed. The girl next to me was lying on her side turned away from me. I called out to her but she didn't move. I tapped her but she still didn't move. I began to get frustrated so I shook and pushed her. After that, she rolled over and looked at me.
She had two black eyes, the result of a broken nose that was still bloody. She also had bruises on her cheeks and chin. Both areas were red and raw and looked puffy. Her lip was swollen and split where someone had hit her. Her neck was by far the worst. It was heavily red and showed serious bruising as if someone tried to strangle her to death but did not finish. She opened her mouth to talk and I saw that her teeth were bloody and missing. She spoke to me as well. She kept repeating, "stop. Please! No!" Just like the other girl. I jumped up out of bed and backed away from the girl. She turned fully towards me and then began to crawl out of the bed. She fell from the bed to the floor and stopped moving for a second, but then suddenly she was on her feet and in my face. I backed away but there was a wall behind me. Looking around, I realized that I was no longer in my dorm room, but a much smaller cramped room of another dorm on campus. I looked out the bay window on my left over the darkened field behind the gym facilities. That's when the first blow struck me on the cheek.
My head bounced off the wall I was leaning against, causing my vision to double. I felt myself sagging towards the floor so I put my hand against the wall to brace myself. Before I could recover my senses, the second blow caught my chin making me slump fully against the wall. In a daze, I looked up at the ceiling of the room and wondered what all the glowing green dots on it were. Then I couldn't breathe. Someone was choking me, and pulling me off the wall by my neck. The shot to my nose came next. Upon impact, I could feel my nose change shape under the assailant's fist. My eyes began to water so I closed them. The next two hits came to my mouth, causing my teeth to move. The coppery scent and salty taste of my blood filled my mouth. As if hitting wasn't enough, my assailant kept choking me.
I struggled, clawing at my assailant's neck and shoulders but they were too strong and without air to breathe, my muscles were quickly losing strength. I opened my eyes but the edges of my vision were becoming fuzzy and dark. As I looked up, all I could see was that whoever was choking me was bleeding from their shoulder and neck where I had scratched them. Then something happened. Just as everything was going black there was a pounding at the door to the room. The choking didn't stop but for a second it relaxed. When the pounding at the door was followed by a key being inserted into the lock, the choking stopped completely and I fell to the floor.
My roommate helped me up and asked me if I was alright. All I could mutter was that someone was choking me. He said I must have been dreaming because no one was in the bedroom except me. I looked around to see that I was back in my dorm room and, besides my roommate, i was alone. I told him that I was cool and just needed to relax. I gave him some nonsense about being stressed out over finals and then went into the bathroom and closed the door. I opened the mirror above the sink to find my pills, and then decided not to take one. I turned the faucet and bent down to splash cold water on my face. As I was wiping my face, I noticed new scratched on my neck and places where it looked like the older scratches on my shoulders had been reopened.
My roommate has been looking at me funny ever since then. I think he's scared of me or knows something but is afraid to tell me. Whatever, finals are almost over and then I'm going home. I think all I need is to be away from this school and I'll be fine. Until then, I really don't care what people think.